Talking to Yourself – an Art That Everyone Should Practice

I remember the day my sister got her book “The Art of Talking to Yourself by Vironika Tugaleva” and how inspiring only one page has been. Filled with brilliant insights, it does inspire someone to learn more about being able to understand this concept of talking to yourself. It might have happen to see someone on the streets and see them talking to themselves and we judge that he or she might not be mentally stable. Well, the fact is that it is totally normal to talk to yourself and it should be encouraged. We are acquainted with monologues and it is quite simple to see it in movies, but in real life it is sometimes regarded as something bad. Self-talk is your inner voice, the little voice in your mind that says things to you that you don’t normally say out loud. Our self-talk has a big influence on how we feel about who we are.

Research show that talking to yourself is not at all crazy and it is something that should be done by everyone and it is a normal behavior. Though, some cultures view talking to yourself as a habit for eccentrics people as some movies depicts that some vile characters are often given monologues. Self-talk can be both positive and negative and how it impacts someone is difficult to assimilate. There are many people who are prone to negative self-talk and it impacts them into taking the wrong decision. It is often the negative self-talk that makes someone pretty miserable and can affect their recovery from a mental health situation. Dealing with positive and negative self-talk, one has to learn to control the voices that will make them feel better in their mind. We have to learn to frame our self-talk in a positive manner that works in your favor and change your perception on life and yourself.

Even if you don’t know it, it might be time to change your self-talk and these following exercises will help you in measuring and maintaining a positive self-talk process.

  • Listen to yourself – Your inner voice might be constantly on all day long. The comment in your head probably goes on all day. As a result, you may not pay attention to what this person is saying. For a whole day (or two), try to really pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself. It may be helpful to keep a notebook with you so that you can write down every time you talk to each other (good or bad). After a full day, you will have a clear picture of the things you say to each other. This will allow you to really analyze the type of rhetoric you are giving yourself.


  • Creating Emotional Distance – In a recent study, researchers found that how you talk to yourself is important. Not only what you say, but also how you say it. For example, it may be helpful to talk about yourself in the third person, or to use your name instead of referring to yourself in the first person. This slight change can give you the emotional distance you need to deal with your behaviour and emotions.


  • Question yourself – It may sound strange, but when it comes to the way you talk to yourself, it can be helpful to question what you say. Do you read someone else’s mind and assume they are judging you? Do you overreact to a situation and make things seem worse than they really are? Are you hard on yourself? Is what you say true? Once you have recognized the flaws in your thinking, you are ready to change your negative thoughts into more positive ones.


  • Treat yourself like a friend – Most of us would never treat a friend negatively. We wouldn’t talk to them in an unpleasant way or make them feel bad about themselves. Yet that’s what we do to ourselves. When you start to reframe your self-talk, remember to treat yourself as a good friend. Instead of saying, “I’m so bad at this,” try saying, “You can do this. If you don’t want to say it to a friend, don’t allow yourself to say it to yourself either.

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